The Show Stealers


People love them stars, yes sir they most certainly do. Look at how they carry themselves some mutter. Don’t they look perfect together? How is she so thin? Why is he so brooding? Why am I talking to the LCD?

The fold is always happy to provide the answers:

The crystal!

If we were to distance ourselves from the glossed silicone for two minutes, we would see that every acclaimed emmy-coveted docu-dramedy has a support performance of such brilliance and restrained subtlety – you barely notice they damn near made the show.

Heres six of the best.

Hiro Nakamura (Heroes, played by Masi Oka)


It’s disappointing to see how far our heroes have fallen from season to season. You can fly for Christ sake – go take a trip, look at the Northern Lights. Let’s see if that doesn’t broaden the horizons you sulking little cretins. While many have faltered over the years, one has remained true to his mission statement and true to the fans – Hiro Nakamura. Yes Hiro, the subtitled bit, where the texts jumps around like a giddy school girl and the fans scream Waffle! Hiro is the only realistic portrayal of an otherwise unfathomable high-concept. Put simply, if you had powers you would enjoy them. And Hiro certainly does that. It has now got to the stage where I simply gloss over the screen until that cheery chubby cherub turns up to save the day.

Ari Gold (Entourage, played by Jeremy Piven)


Like it, Loath it. It is probably because of one man – Jeremy Piven’s alter-ego onanist Ari Gold. Piven brings such a high level of intensity to the character that its got many people wondering how does the man do it. I heard through the grapevine he isn’t actually acting. Fair dues though.

Tobias Funke (Arrested Development, played by David Cross)


While the cast of Arrested Development nailed their roles to absolute perfection, it was David Cross’ Tobias Funke that stood out amongst the rest. Cross plays ambivalence down to a science, and in a strong emsemble, somehow managed to steal the show with each one of his pathetic attempts. Arrested Development went under the radar over here and if you haven’t heard of the program I strongly recommend having a ganders. We could all do with a bit more Funke in our lives (sorry, no more puns – im better than this!).

Jack Donaghy (30 Rock, played by Alec Baldwin)

jack do

Ladies, Mr Jack Donaghy. NBC’s head of television programming and microwave ovens and a voice that would make a wolverine purr. Since I keep throwing out statements as facts, I shall continue to keep balance. He is the greatest suit to ever appear on television, with humour so dry he could pass for cider. Alec may be known stateside for his numerous SNL appearances. Over here we know him for straight to dvd flicks. But I think it’s time Baldwin Sr. got a few more roles thrown his way – we can forgive him for Sisters Keeper.

Benjamin Linus (Lost, played by Michael Emerson)


It’s a piece of piss to play the lead on a primetime show. You got a chin? You got the part stubbles! To play the creep though; you need a solid thespian. Linus has mastered the art of being the unnerving, unknowing specimen that has become the hallmark of the franchise. Oh he’s so evil, so bloody weird looking! The fans passionate disdain for this character speaks volumes of just how good a job Michael Emerson is doing. For this reason, I think he might just be my favourite character on the most frustrating, unrewarding programme to have ever been conceived by man.

Omar Little (The Wire, played by Michael K. Williams)


There are too many strong performances in The Wire to mention in this one post, but you knew if you had to pick one, only one, it would be Omar Little. The homosexual-gangster-whistling-robin-hood-assassin takes the biscuit for strange hyphenated partners. I’m pretty certain David Simon simply threw contradictory stereotypes into a bucket, tossed them against a wall and brought to life one of the most compelling characters in television history. This takes nothing away from Mr K. Williams performance. Brando put cotton wool in his mouth and talked like a chimp for an Oscar. Omar has not only redefined ethnic categorisation in contemporary culture (listen to Kane and Ghet’s for proof of the pud), he’s done it with a kick in his step and a whistle in his…

Anyways. Keep ya leads, we got these.


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