A Very Personal Odyssey

I wonder how many of you are taking a deeply meaningful journey right now? How many of you are venturing through your very own personal exodus, one that will take you right to the very heart of what it means to be ‘you’, what it really means to be alive.

Probably not that many of you.

Certainly less of us go on these journeys than TV presenters have been. I was watching the Fat Tongued Cooking Wizard (who hails from Essex) yesterday as he bumbled his way around New Orleans shouting about his ‘Essex’ style Gumbo (he’s from Essex, you know) and interviewing various local figureheads who looked wholly unimpressed with him personally and cared less for his attitude that his cooking would ‘help people cope with disaster’. So far, so utterly pointless.

But then it happened, if you watched it I hope you remember this scene, Jamie tore away from the production crew! He lost himself in the moment! In the magic of the New Orleans street party he couldn’t contain himself, he broke ranks and started dancing like a painfully white guy surrounded by all the black people in the world.

It was beautiful, he was so moved he had to get his VERY OWN PHONE out and start recording some grainy footage from inside the belly of this party beast!

I’m not ashamed to admit it, I was moved to tears by the beauty of it.

Of course, that’s all bollocks (apart from the painfully white dancing) what actually happened was Jamie was instructed by the crew to get into the party spirit, wave the mobile about like a prick and some camera bloke will mock up some totally convincing mobile phone video. It wasn’t in any way convincing.

But technicals aside, why bother even showing that? Why bother mocking up some camera phone footage?
It’s no great mystery, we have to believe now that every celeb going on ANY programme must have some emotional journey, there we had Jamie getting lost in the party (in an otherwise awful programme), elsewhere we have Steven Fry taking photos of everything he sees with his iPhone on his latest BBC offering, we have Griff Rhys Jones spunking on remote parts of Britain, it just goes on and on.

Face it; celebrities just have more emotions than you, you emotionally dead husks.



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